In 1999, trans folks began commemorating trans people who had been murdered because of their identity. November 20 became Trans Day of Remembrance. In 2010, a different idea came into fruition – let’s celebrate our lives as well as commemorating those who have died. Today is Trans Day of Visibility.
Trans people have nothing in common beyond not being okay with the gender we were assigned at birth. Race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, age, political affiliation – nothing else is common ground. If you think about it, the same applies to cisgender people – they have nothing automatically in common except that they’re okay with the gender they were assigned at birth. So, when I talk about the importance of visibility, I’m speaking only for myself.
I’m as out as possible for a transman 28 years on hormones. We transmen are an invisible population unless we deliberately come out. I’d have to wear a neon sign around my neck for folks to know I’m trans just by looking at me. So, I do presentations, write for ShoutOut, talk to various groups – whatever I can do to put a face to the identity ‘transman.’ I published my memoir. For me, every day is Trans Day of Visibility.
Why do I feel so strongly about coming out? Because I didn’t know who I was until June of 1995. I had thought I was a lesbian; I was increasingly unhappy and anxious as the years went by, though I had no idea why. I don’t know if I would ever have figured out who I really was if a partner hadn’t come out to me, saying, “I’ve always felt like a man inside and if I had the money, I’d have an operation tomorrow.” This put my identity in my face so prominently, my denial could no longer function.
My partner was 37 at the time. I was 39. Neither of us had ever heard of a transman; neither of us knew anyone who was trans, and would not have been able to accurately define the identity if you’d asked us. My partner happened to see a magazine article about a transman and thus found out transition this direction was even possible. Though my partner had always had the self-knowledge, he had never known transition this direction was a thing. (I say ‘he’ now, though it took a long time for me to use the correct pronoun without bitterness and anger)
I repeat: neither of us had ever heard of a transman. And this is precisely why I come out now at any opportunity, why I welcome visibility – I look to the day when no one will have to wait until 39 to find out their identity exists. The day when people will have an opportunity to understand their identity at young ages because they see themselves reflected in movies, on television, in books.
I see this day on the imminent horizon, far more trans visibility culturally. And this has led to a sharp uptick in anti-trans reactions, from legislation to violence, from people who don’t want us to exist; they see us as polluting U.S. culture, seducing their children away from the literal straight and narrow. What keeps me going, gives me hope for the future, is a saying I keep firmly in mind as I live my life: first they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you – then you win.
Reid Vanderburgh 